what if people named their kids when they turn 18 so the kid has a name that fits its personality
ARE YOU READY TO PANIC AT THIS MOTHERFUCKING DISCO
"People hate that I flip two cigarettes
Upside down in each pack
But I hate that people notice
When you gain three pounds,
But not when you buy a new hat.
I’ve been told that the way I sleep
With one leg draped over
The person lying next to me
But I think it’s annoying
When people tell me
I look pretty,
But only when I paint my face.
I’ve heard that old men
Like to touch the girls who work late at bars,
But I want to know
Why they never kiss the women they married
forty-two years ago.
I’ve noticed that mothers teach their daughters
That it’s rude to refuse a hug
From an uncle they’ve met three times,
But forget to teach them
That they aren’t obliged to kiss
The boy who paid for dinner."
Biologists are jerks.
Our sense of humor is infectious.
This needs to go viral.
"Stop apologizing when it’s not your fault."
July 15, 2014 (via cramblings)
"is it free"
every student ever when offered something (via forever-and-alwayss)
- what i actually said: i forgot
- what my parents heard: i hate you and i am determined to fail at life, go to prison, and bring dishonor to this family. i care about nothing except my computer and tv shows and you can just go burn in hell for all i care. also i'm pregnant.